Levels of belonging
The feeling of belonging, regardless of one's background or identity, is rightfully regarded as a necessary condition for success and fulfillment in work and life. I’ve been thinking about how to push the conversation about belonging past its usual parameters.
I think we need to expand the frame, and I believe we can do so by acknowledging there are three levels of belonging available to all: individual, tribal, and universal.
Level 1 (individual) is a sense that our one-of-a-kind constellation of attributes, the unique elements of our temperament and character, are fully seen and heard. Each of us is special, and it's profoundly reassuring when we feel that others truly 'get' who we are.
Level 2 (tribal) is the in-group solidarity we notice in the company of our own, whatever that may mean. Constantly and subconsciously, we divide the world into all sorts of camps. Those within the boundaries of our "we" tend to make us feel more trusted, liked, and supported.
Level 3 (universal) is the rush of connectedness we experience as the protagonist in a broader historical drama. We come to see that our fears, frustrations, goals, and aspirations are echoes of a common humanity. In the words of Martin Luther King, we feel "bound together in a single garment of destiny.”
In many discussions about belonging today, level 2 has become the dominant frame. As noted, it's a deeply valid dimension, but it's just one of three. It speaks to a single aspect of belonging but certainly not all.
Levels 1 and 3 are equally if not more challenging to grapple with. Level 1 requires an enormous investment of time, given the infinitely layered complexity of individual psychology. Level 3, as well, can involve months and years of work, until we finally distill the most resonant themes of a disparate community.
Perhaps we need more freedom of movement in this domain. Each of us is like no other person, like some other people, and like all other people. When it comes to belonging, being able to engage with others on all three levels is surely better than being limited to one.